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During adolescence, as we become more independent from our parents, our peers play a more significant role in our life. We share many experiences and feelings with our friends. Separation from them can feel very severe during this period. If a situation arises where you need to move to another city or even to another country, this can have a major impact on our feelings.
Our parents may decide at some point to move to a new place. This could happen for several reasons; they might just want to live in another environment, house or city, or have gotten a new job.
This can mean a lot is going to change in our life. Especially if we have to change schools as well. We might find it hard to leave your ‘old life’ behind.
However, if we find ourselves in this situation, remember that a move can always be a great opportunity for a fresh start with new friends and new beginnings!
Some people are forced to move to escape violence, conflict, persecution, extreme poverty, or a lack of basics such as food or water, decent work, education and health care. They move to escape from poor living conditions, with hopes for a more prosperous and peaceful environment for an opportunity of a better future.
This way of moving is even more scary and full of uncertainties. People sometimes suddenly have to flee, forced to take the bare minimum with them and they have a dangerous journey ahead of them. In addition to leaving behind familiar surroundings, there is no clarity about the future. They do not know if, when and where they can build a new life. You can imagine that this causes a lot of fear and grief, which can last for a long time.
If you have experienced a forced relocation and you are struggling with your feelings and coping with it all, it is important to reach out to a trusted adult.
A lot changes happen when we move. We leave behind our friends, school, daily routine and neighborhood. In other words, our comfort zone. We also have to get to know and adapt to a completely new situation, a new social environment and new relationships (with peers, neighbors, teachers, a family doctor and so on!). When we move to another country, we might even have to learn a new language. All of these changes can make it difficult to adapt, and we might feel that you don’t fully fit it. This can be especially true when we move to a country where the culture is very different from our home country. We might feel like we look, dress or sound different than everyone else. People may not know how to pronounce our name properly, might treat us differently or see us as outsiders. Sometimes, this can lead to exclusion or being bullied. If this is happening, refer to the section on bullying to learn more about how we can respond to this type of situation.
One situation may be more frightening and uncertain than the other; nonetheless having to leave and start over can have a big impact on our lives.
You might:
As said, moving away is a lot to deal with. It is scary for everyone in the beginning. But, once we have found our new place, it will definitely get better with time. The more energy we put into our new situation, the better off we will be!
What might help us adjust:
If moving has created a situation for us where we can’t shake the feelings of sadness or anxiety, or has put us into a situation of being excluded, talk to a trusted adult like a parent, teacher, or school counselor. If bullying is occurring, call the nearest hotline to get the support you need!
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